SHORT ANSWER
Talk about concrete observations, not labels and accusations; offer help, not ultimatums; ask "how can I support you?". Pressure, shame and arguments about "willpower" usually push a person away from help rather than toward it.
Why is that?
Why specifics work: the phrase "I see that you have barely slept for two weeks" is an observation one can agree with or clarify; "you're depressed/weak again" is a label that triggers defensiveness. A person defends against accusations and closes up; they open to descriptions of facts and sincere care.
Why ultimatums are counterproductive: threats ("if you don't go to the doctor — …") are perceived as restriction of freedom, and in most mental health conditions the feeling of losing control increases resistance. Paradoxically, it is exactly softness and respect for the person's choice that more often lead them to agree to help on their own.
Why practice confirms this: family psychoeducation is one of the standard elements of care for many disorders; research shows that supportive communication (less criticism, more empathy) is associated with a better course of the condition in the close person and lower burden on the family.
WHAT TO DO
- Choose a calm moment without witnesses; start with "I am worried about you", not with listing "problems".
- Speak through "I": "I notice…", "it matters to me…" — this sounds less like a verdict.
- Offer concrete help: find a specialist together, book an appointment, simply be present at the visit.
- Ask: "How can I support you?" — and accept the answer, even if it is not your scenario.
- If safety is at risk — act through emergency services; in that case care for life matters more than saving face.